Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Breaking Free

I had a great childhood. My parents are still married and deeply in love. I've had nothing but love, encouragement, support and acceptance from my family and close friends all my life. So I don't really know why I'm overweight. I talked to my mom about it for a long time tonight. I was insecure as a child and had some unexplained depression in my teens but never realized it at the time. I look back and see it but I had no idea what I was actually feeling when I was in the middle of it. I feel like I am more aware of things like that now.

I am doing a bible study with the ladies at my church - "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore.

I have known for some time that I have lost control over my eating and desire to take care of myself. This study really addresses the bondage of sin and oppression of habitual sin. It's awesome. You should do it. Period.

God, I am in bondage to food, overeating, and inactivity. I will not "make peace" with my sin by saying and thinking "I've just got fat genes... I'll always be fat... my family loves me anyways... I'm ok with who I am...". I need you to heal my "want to". Make me hate the things that are bad for me and love You more. Deliver me from this bondage as I grow closer to You.

Psalm 40:8 - "I desire to do Your will O my God, Your law is within my heart.". I want to want to break free from my bondage and habitual sin.

1 Corinthians 10:13- "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted He will also provide THE way out so that you can stand up under it."

God, help me make it through my moments so that I can make it to my milestones. Help me to be transparent and secure in who I am in You and the rest will fall into place.

Current weight: 245.6