A letter to myself...

Inspired by Biggest Loser

Dear goal-weight Ashley,

Never forget where you came from and how you got there.  Also never forget the work it took to get where you are now!  This has been a long journey and you've done well.  You should be proud of yourself.  Don't be scared.  Don't let the fears of gaining it back, loose skin, and lifetime committment make you falter.  This goal was always attainable, it just took many kicks in the butt to get there.  Just because you are at goal doesn't mean that your work is done.  Don't get frustrated over a pound... or five.  And don't agonize over every tiny decision.  You are stronger than you think you are.

Love

~200 lb Ashley

Onderland!

So 2 years and 5 months have passed and I've finally made it to ONDERLAND!!!  I have so many mixed emotions about this new number (198.4). 

... it just feels strange putting the "1" first.

... I am so very proud of how far I've come.

... I'm scared!  I have not been this weight since I was on my way up (5 years ago).  There's a small voice that says "who are you when you're not the fat girl anymore?"  I know I have lots of great qualities but it has been so easy to use my weight as an excuse.... (my skinny friends will never understand this about me). 

... What if i fail??????  What if i gain it all back???

... Why has it taken me so long to get here?  Lots of people lose 46 pounds in a year and it took me more than twice that long.  Why can't I just do it and get it over with already!

Thanks for reading