Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Beginning...

I am moving my blog from webs.com that I started a couple of years ago so that maybe I'll (1) keep up with it. & (2) get motivated again and stay motivated!

So, I'm Ashley.  I love God.  He is my Lord and Savior.  I'm 27 years old, married to a wonderful man - Dustin.  We don't have any children yet - waiting on a few things (financial, weight, house, etc...) I'm a Speech-Therapist and absolutely LOVE my job most of the time!!  I get to work with patients from 1 yr old to 100+ years old.  For once in my life work is the least stressful thing in my life.

The most stressful thing you ask?  Weight, fat, food, exercise.... If I don't care enough about myself to spend every possible minute making my future better, then who else will... right?

I've been fairly heavy all my life that I remember.  One summer when I was 13, I babysat 3 kids that were holy terrors.  I was totally unequipped to deal with them and decided that if I would just feed them all the time, they would leave me alone.  It worked - they ate, I ate... all. day. long.  (that was a 30 lbs summer!)  It seems like I have always been heavier than my friends by at least 20 lbs.  I regret that I didn't start caring about my weight until I was at my heaviest (245) in January 2007.  At that point I had given up weighing, obsessing and even trying at all.  I had NO idea that's how much I weighed.  I have a wonderful husband and wonderful family and friends that have always made me feel loved, accepted, and never ashamed of my appearance.  For a long time, I think I blamed my parents for my weight.  Now I know that it's MY problem.  I caused it and I have to fix it.
I counted calories for a couple of months and lost 15 lbs!  Then I started my first encounter with WeightWatchers (WW).  I thought... I'm determined, there's no way I will fail at this!  Yeah Right! I'm off WW for the 4th time now - Not only did I not realize how much I weighed, now I discover that I'm a complete mess when it comes to will power, determination, and emotional eating!  

This is my year!  No more excuses!  Time to leave my pity party behind and quit being the "fat friend" (how I see myself... never been called that... to my face at least :)

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